careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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