Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize