my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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