just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize