ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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