"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize