my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize