I want to stick my p in your. b.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize