why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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