dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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