my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize