Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize