I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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