If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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