Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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