Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize