i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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