theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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