i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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