coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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