the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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