it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize