we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
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Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
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You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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