I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
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We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
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I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I party with great urgency now.
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