I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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