I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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