Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize