i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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