she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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