what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize