I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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