What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
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