I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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