Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize