Need sex. Gaining weight.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize