Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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