hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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