woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
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Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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