I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
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I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
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Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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