i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
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I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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