i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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