Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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