i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
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My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
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I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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