Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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