is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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