The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
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and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
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I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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