so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
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Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
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Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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