there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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