A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize