If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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